April 1, 2015

Position Opening: Stay-at-Home Mom

All stay-at-home moms have been there. The dreaded, "What do you do all day?!" and, "My, being a SAHM has got to be easy, you can just nap, drink coffee, and watch TV all day!" comments. Anyone who has been a SAHM knows there's plenty to do all day and very little time to watch TV and drink coffee (especially if you want it hot) let alone nap.

I then got to thinking. What would a job description for a SAHM look like? I imagine it'd go something like this:

Position: Full Time Stay-at-Home Mom of Toddler and Newborn
Hours/Days: 24/7, 365
Pay: No monetary compensation; hugs, cuddles and kisses are given as payment
Vacation days: None
Sick days: None
Travel: None
Medical/dental/vision benefits: None
401k: No
Location: Live in

Note: This position is not for the faint of heart or someone who cannot be fully committed. It is not a position for everyone. Every mom must decide what is best for her and for her family. All positions, in or out of the home, are equal in difficulty and all moms' choices should be respected.

Job description
We're looking for an energetic, self-starter who can take a house and make it a home on a tight budget while caring for, educating, entertaining, and being the sole person responsible for two spirited children during work hours.

Responsibilities and Duties
  • Responsibility for all the children's needs, education, health, and entertainment around the clock. Children must be supervised at all times
  • Develop fun activities, outings, and crafts that are age appropriate
  • Read to children daily, sometimes the same book over and over
  • TV is to be limited and no other forms of advanced electronics (iPads, tablets, phones, etc.) are permitted
  • Drive children to/from activities, doctor's appointments, and where ever they need to go
  • Keep track of and schedule needed doctor's appointments
  • Maintain schedule for entire family, balancing and scheduling social calendar, appointments, errands, cleaning, etc.
  • Plan and prepare all meals. Must be nutritious, balanced, yet meet the requirements of the children whose tastes vary daily. Eating out is very limited
  • Clean and maintain home, including monitoring maintenance needs and arranging for and supervising repairs
  • Do laundry, estimated at 2-5 loads or more a week
  • Maintain children's wardrobes, including ability to save money on clothing, plan ahead, buy appropriate sizes, sort and organize clothes to grow into and already outgrown
  • Track all household supplies and food to be able to replenish as needed, while saving money
  • Run errands, at times with children who may or may not be tantruming
  • Perform all household tasks while caring for the children
  • Determine, set, and follow a budget, along with paying all bills on time and in full while maintaining and building savings
  • Breaks and times for meals may or may not be permitted--when permitted, food may be cold and must be eaten quickly
  • Showers may or may not be daily
  • Must stay up all night and not sleep when required by children
  • Obtain and determine correct courses of therapy for special needs child
  • Handle any and all emergencies 
  • Change lots. of. diapers.

 Experience and skills

  • Must have experience as a maid, butler, personal driver, secretary, personal assistant, activities planner, chef, accountant, nutritionist, personal shopper, life coach, teacher, and household manager
  • Ability to handle screaming, crying, and whining children without going cuckoo
  • Fluent in toddler and baby
  • Able to miss breakfast and often lunch, along with all snacks and drinks when required
  • Must use bathroom and shower in record time, often with supervision and/or children screaming
  • Ability to hold off going to the bathroom for long periods
  • Able to go a day or more sans shower
  • Must be able to work quickly and multi-task without issue 
  • Ability to handle stress 
  • Must be able to handle a tight budget with less disposable income
  • Many hugs, kisses, and cuddles from children
  • Watching children grow, change, and learn knowing you had a direct hand in it and didn't miss a thing
  • Fun times playing, doing crafts, baking, at the park, outside, and doing other activities
  • Seeing your child smile and learn something new
  • More time as a family
  • Able to blog on the side and freelance
  • The best commute. Ever.
  • And so, so much more that you really can't describe or explain
Ever wonder what the correct thing to say to a SAHM, WAHM or work-outside-the-home mom is? Find out here.

This article is featured in The Complete Guide for Stay-at-Home Mom Survival Guide: When You Need to Laugh.

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  1. Very cute (and accurate). As a Stay-at-home-dad, I can relate to almost every one of them on your list!

  2. Lol great post. As a sahm I understand it all. It can be a crazy life

  3. Oh my goodness I rememeber this all too well! I bet this list can go on and on too. I'm a WAHM and I get asked the same thing. Some people say "oh she just works at home' and I'm like really?

    So glad you added the benefits...it makes all the hard work worthwhile :).

    Happy Wednesday!

    1. Working from home is a heck of a lot harder with kids than people think! It takes a lot of skill and patience, that's for sure.

  4. I have seen things like this floating around before. It's very true.

  5. Sounds about right. I take my pay in kisses, hugs, knuckle bumps, pleases, thanks, and I love yous 💗

  6. Very true. I take my pay in kisses, hugs, snuggles and I love yous.

  7. I am a stay at home mom to 5 children ages 9 and under, I homeschool, etc. My husband does not understand why I am so tired at the end of the day! Really?

  8. You list is right on! Too funny!

  9. I remember going to work to relax after my first was born. It never ends.

  10. Being a SAHM is no walk in the park, but I won't get into comparing it to other positions. They all have value though!

    1. Yes, every job, in and out of the home, has pros and cons, difficulties and things that are easier. They all matter and deserve respect. :)

  11. People don't ask me now that I homeschool, now I get the over the top compliments. Like I never did anything before!

  12. So accurate! Moms are priceless!

  13. It's a lot of work sometimes but it's totally worth it. I definitely became a better cook over the years of raising kids.

  14. This is a fantastic post! I recently posted a very similar one on my blog. Being a SAHM is the toughest job in the world, IMO.

    1. I'd love to read yours if you'd like to share. :)

  15. Awesome, love this! The commute is pretty good. Today, I had to pee and had to hold it for so long because I was so busy with my kids.

    1. Oh, yes. That happens to me at least once a day! lol And the, "hurry up and pee fast because the kid just ran off to do who knows what, or the baby is crying" bathroom run.

  16. And a verbal punching bag for the older kids! I've told people over and over the stuff you mentioned and they still don't get it!

  17. It is a tough job and I am glad there are women who want to do it!

  18. this is so great--and so true! Stay At Home Moms could never been a true paying job because if it was...no one would be able to afford them! :) it truly is the hardest job. great post!

  19. So true! It's a wonderful job, but certainly not easy! I've been doing it for over 10 years.

  20. I can relate all of these as my wife happily did these all day long. Thanks for sharing.

  21. This is so true! There are so many job skills and things that we do every day!

  22. Your list is spot on! I hate how people think you must not be doing anything since you're home. It's the hardest and most wonderful job I've ever had but it's certainly never boring or dull :)

  23. Being a stay at home mom is handwork but rewarding I am told. I did not get that luck. Thanks for sharing.

  24. LOL, I love this, This is very true. True mom is not always easy. This is very wonderful post.

  25. Very good post. It is a tuff and rewarding job.

  26. I'm not a stay at home mom - I've always worked full time outside the home so I have a whole set of other issues lol.Being a mom not matter your employment situation is tough but I can certainly see some of the issues you mentioned because they do come up on the days that I am home with the kiddos. It's a tough job, but no job has better rewards at the end of the day than being a mama!

    1. I totally agree, working in or out of the home has its pros and cons. Neither is easy, but being a mom is worth it either way. :)

  27. I am a stay at home and I love getting a hug and cuddle from my child.I'm so thankful I have an opportunity to be a stay at home mom and see my kids grow up.

  28. Too cute!! I have worked full time for several years, and home stay home mom for the past 7 years.. I can tell both are not really easy and have to find ways to reward ourselves.

  29. All of this is spot-on. I work from home and trying to get anything done is impossible and I am going on 8 years. People think that when I am home I have time to do everything else. I can't remember the last time I relaxed.

  30. This is so true!! I never knew how hard being a SAHM was until I actually became one...and then had another baby a year later. Thanks for the giggle :)

  31. Did you see the post of the Dad who worked out how much it would cost to hire someone to do everything his wife does? It was an astronomical amount. One loving Mom = Priceless.
    Stopping by from MeetUp Mondays.

  32. This is so accurate. I think we should make flyers out of this and hand them out to those who assume we do nothing but sit around all day. Very clever! Thank you for sharing.

  33. Love this--sweet and funny! Thanks for linking up at MeetUp Monday! Hope to see you tomorrow!


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