There have been many articles lately telling us what not to say to certain moms. There's the SAHM, WAHM, and work outside the home camps, each with things they never want to hear. But what the heck ARE you supposed to say then? Are we left to just say nothing or offend every other mom we meet?
The truth is as moms, we all work hard,
struggle at times, love our kids, and want what's best for them. We all
need support and there are some things we love to hear -- No matter what our job title and life
choices. Try one of these out next time you see another member of the
1. You're a good mom!
It is always
awesome to hear that you are great at the most important thing you
do--be a mom. Especially on the bad days, when we second guessing all
our choices, worry if we're doing things "right" and
feeling like a failure at everything. It's good to hear someone else
thinks we've got our crap together...even when we're feeling overwhelmed
and ripping our hair out (and possibly swearing our heads off behind
closed doors while we hope the kids don't hear and repeat a "fun" new
word at school).
2. Is there anything I can do to give you a hand? Every
mom needs some help sometimes, whether it be having the door held open
at a store while she tries to wrangle kids, stroller/cart, bags and
purse; a hand loading groceries in the car or taking back the cart
because the kids are in meltdown mode; a night out with a free
babysitter to have a break for once; or bringing over something for a
potluck dinner. Offer a hand when you can. Oh, and be kind to the mom
with the tantruming kids in the grocery store line -- let her cut in
front of you or at least go into the next lane that opens rather than
rushing over to nab the spot before she can.
3. Your kids are so smart/funny/cute! A
compliment for the kid is a compliment for the mom, too. Who doesn't
want to hear something positive about her kid? Even if it's a comment
about how cute our kid's outfit is so we know even if we look like crap
from spit up, poop, and no sleep, our kids look nice.
4. I know it's hard, but I also know you're doing your best and that's what matters.
Face it, being a mom is hard, no matter your job title. All of us have
our own struggles, difficulties, and things that are easier for us.
Let's recognize what other moms are going through. Let her know her hard
work is noticeable.
5. Good for you for making the best choice for you and your family. I support you. No
matter if you're a WM, WAHM, or SAHM, you made the choice based on what's
best for you and your family. Often, it is not an easy one to make. It's
nice to be recognized for that, rather than looked down on for your
personal choice. Let her know you realize she made a tough choice that
is right for her.
6. How are you doing? So often, we
just become so-and-so's mom. We don't even have a name. I swear, if he was offered 1 million bucks for just knowing my name, the kids' doctor still wouldn't know. Everyone asks
about the kids, not us. Try asking another mom how SHE is doing or how
SHE is feeling.
7. Do you need to talk?
Sometimes, it's not about what someone says. It's about her just being
there to listen about how crappy our day is (the toddler smeared poop on
the walls and smashed crackers all over. Again.) or how wonderful it is
(I got to sleep in today and went out for lunch, alone!). We all need
to vent or brag sometimes. We need support in order to get through this
crazy thing called motherhood.
8. Your kids love you. It's a
great feeling to be reminded that those kids, the ones who we're doing
this all for, love us, unconditionally. They're what makes it all
worthwhile on good days and bad.