April 27, 2015

What to Say to a SAHM, WAHM, or WM

There have been many articles lately telling us what not to say to certain moms. There's the SAHM, WAHM, and work outside the home camps, each with things they never want to hear. But what the heck ARE you supposed to say then? Are we left to just say nothing or offend every other mom we meet?
The truth is as moms, we all work hard, struggle at times, love our kids, and want what's best for them. We all need support and there are some things we love to hear -- No matter what our job title and life choices. Try one of these out next time you see another member of the mama tribe.

1. You're a good mom! It is always awesome to hear that you are great at the most important thing you do--be a mom. Especially on the bad days, when we second guessing all our choices, worry if we're doing things "right" and feeling like a failure at everything. It's good to hear someone else thinks we've got our crap together...even when we're feeling overwhelmed and ripping our hair out (and possibly swearing our heads off behind closed doors while we hope the kids don't hear and repeat a "fun" new word at school).

2. Is there anything I can do to give you a hand? Every mom needs some help sometimes, whether it be having the door held open at a store while she tries to wrangle kids, stroller/cart, bags and purse; a hand loading groceries in the car or taking back the cart because the kids are in meltdown mode; a night out with a free babysitter to have a break for once; or bringing over something for a potluck dinner. Offer a hand when you can. Oh, and be kind to the mom with the tantruming kids in the grocery store line -- let her cut in front of you or at least go into the next lane that opens rather than rushing over to nab the spot before she can.

3. Your kids are so smart/funny/cute! A compliment for the kid is a compliment for the mom, too. Who doesn't want to hear something positive about her kid? Even if it's a comment about how cute our kid's outfit is so we know even if we look like crap from spit up, poop, and no sleep, our kids look nice.

4. I know it's hard, but I also know you're doing your best and that's what matters. Face it, being a mom is hard, no matter your job title. All of us have our own struggles, difficulties, and things that are easier for us. Let's recognize what other moms are going through. Let her know her hard work is noticeable. 

5. Good for you for making the best choice for you and your family. I support you. No matter if you're a WM, WAHM, or SAHM, you made the choice based on what's best for you and your family. Often, it is not an easy one to make. It's nice to be recognized for that, rather than looked down on for your personal choice. Let her know you realize she made a tough choice that is right for her.

6. How are you doing? So often, we just become so-and-so's mom. We don't even have a name. I swear, if he was offered 1 million bucks for just knowing my name, the kids' doctor still wouldn't know. Everyone asks about the kids, not us. Try asking another mom how SHE is doing or how SHE is feeling.

7. Do you need to talk? Sometimes, it's not about what someone says. It's about her just being there to listen about how crappy our day is (the toddler smeared poop on the walls and smashed crackers all over. Again.) or how wonderful it is (I got to sleep in today and went out for lunch, alone!). We all need to vent or brag sometimes. We need support in order to get through this crazy thing called motherhood.

8. Your kids love you. It's a great feeling to be reminded that those kids, the ones who we're doing this all for, love us, unconditionally. They're what makes it all worthwhile on good days and bad.  

34 comments:

  1. This is very sweet. Thank you for sharing this

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  2. It is nice to be able to talk to other adults once in a while. I love talking to my kids, but I need adult interaction sometimes.

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  3. What a great post and I am going to share it with my daughters as well. Thanks so much.

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  4. This is great. I wish ALL moms would read this and follow suit. Thank you.

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  5. These and all of them! I don't hear them enough and I'm sure most moms don't either.

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  6. Yes, yes, yes! There are so many negative articles out there, it makes me a little sad ... Thank you for focusing on the positive! So much wisdom in this post.

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  7. YES, common denominators for all of us! You really nailed the underlying threads that can unite us all. I hope everyone reads this and can put these words on repeat with mommy pals. Thanks!

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    1. And thanks for linking up at MeetUp Monday! We hope to see you again next week!

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  8. These are all so true. I think just being a Mom in general is such hard work, and it's nice to get a compliment or words of encouragement every once in a while.

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  9. Great post! I think a word of encouragement goes a long way for parents period because it's hard work raising kids. And we all need to hear that we're doing a good job or need someone to not just ask how the kids are doing, but to make sure that we're fine also.

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  10. I am a working mom, but I wouldn't mind being wahm if I could swing it ;). I'd be willing to at least try it!

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  11. This is a great post! I am a stay at home recently turned work at home mom and I don't understand why people have anything to say about any of them. All of it is important, we arent competing.... Drives me nuts!

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  12. This is a great post! And you're right, no matter what type of mom we identify ourselve as - sah, wah, or 9-5 mom...we are all striving for the same thing...to make it through the day without losing our hair or our minds. Or is that just me? ;).

    I hope this encourages moms to support and encourage each other! Happy Monday hun!

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  13. Moms need encouragement. I am a stay at home mom / homeschool mom, definitely has its challenges at times. Encouraging post!

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  14. Awwwww! As a mom I just love this. These are the things we all need to hear, perfect for a WAHM SAHM or WM :-)

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  15. It's definitely nice to have support. This is so cute.

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  16. This is a very good post. Regardless of our position this post can resonate with anyone. Thanks for sharing these suggestions that do often get overlooked.

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  17. I really love your take on how to socialize with other moms! I agree, the best place to start is to ask them how they are doing. Leave judgement at the door. :)

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  18. This is a great post! I love it! Thank you so much for sharing!

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  19. This is wonderful, thank for sharing. I am going to show this to my daughter.

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  20. You gave me a window into a mom's life, so thanks!

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  21. What a wonderful post. I'm a firm believer is saying something nice rather than avoiding certain things to say, or saying nothing at all. This is so positive and upbeat!

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  22. I am a WAHM and I love it. I get to do what I love while raising my daughter.

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  23. Such a sweet post.. I felt encouraged and happy after reading your post :)

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  24. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes to all!!! You NAILED this post!!! It's so thoughtful and so perfect!!! I am pinning this and sharing it. Will reread for the reminder, because again, it's so well done!

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  25. These are all so thoughtful! I have been a stay at home mom since both my boys were born. I know as a mom I would be appreciative of being asked any one of these.

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  26. I am a SAHM and I enjoy being with my kids. At times it can be hard, when multi-tasking with three kids. Thank God I have my husband that helps me. Without him things would be harder. Thanks for sharing your post.

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  27. This is really great! We tend to judge other moms more than we should. We are all in the same "club" we should support each other.

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  28. I agree! I have been on both sides of the fence, I went to work when my oldest was 15 months old and quite when I had my 3rd baby & I chose to be a SAHM...Either way it is nice to hear encouraging words.

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  29. YASSSS!!! This!! Regardless of what kind of mama you are, it's a tough job - thanks for the reminder!

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  30. I'd rather get 'I support you' than 'are you looking for a real job?' ;) Unfortunately, that is not always the case.

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  31. Thanks for sharing this insightful post! I know I could have used some of these when I was raising my own children; now I'll share this post with my daughter who's raising my two adorable granddaughters!

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  32. This is such a great post. I will have to share it with my friends. There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom.

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  33. Hardest job and I have high respect to all the hard working moms out there. It is priceless!
    Thanks for sharing!

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Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. As a busy mom, I'm not always able to respond to each one, though I read and appreciate them all.