August 24, 2015

Attacking a Divorcing Mom

Recently I read something that drove me up the wall. A syndicated radio personality and his wife, a SAHM, are getting divorced. I've followed her for years because she's a fellow mom blogger. Apparently, he spilled quite the load of info on the radio that he probably shouldn't have. It lead to his wife being trashed across social media. People attacked her not even knowing her side. Left right and center, Instagram, his Facebook, her Facebook, you name it, she was getting slammed. One of the common themes was, "How dare she leave with HIS kids? How dare she take HIS money? This was obviously premeditated!" A healthy dose of, "You cold-hearted bitch," and "You monster!" was splashed around as well. Like watching American Idol or the Kardashians, it was a train wreck of epic proportions I just couldn't yank myself from reading. And I just got more pissed as I did.




When it comes to a SAHM leaving her husband, it's even more difficult. SAHMs don't have a source of income other than her husband's. All SAHMs work, and work hard, too. We just don't get paid for it and often don't even get recognized for it. When it comes to leaving her husband, a SAHM may have to take THEIR money as she won't have any income. Especially if it's a situation where she can't trust her husband to not cute her off. She's doing what she needs to for herself and her kids.

Why the hell wouldn't a mom take HER kids with her if she is leaving her spouse? Yes, they're the spouses kids as well and the kids should see their dad (under most circumstances) but why should the mom leave her kids behind? That can be, and really is, abandonment. Especially when it's a SAHM who is the primary care giver and there won't even be anyone to take care of the kids while the spouse is at work. Telling a mom if she leaves her husband she should leave her kids is down right cray.


I should sure as heck hope that leaving your spouse, whether for a separation or divorce, is premeditated. I don't think any sane person would make that choice lightly and just up one day and walk out. There's going to be thought behind it. Hopefully, planning, too. Especially when there are kids involved.

The mom being dragged through the mud kept it classy, simply posting that she wasn't going to comment on the details on Facebook. She's right there. No separation or divorce should play out on social media with a whole he-said-she-said-you-bitch-you-asshole debacle for all to read and judge. There's no reason to get all Real Housewives about it. Even if all your friends and family are secretly entertained, keeping a fresh bowl of popcorn handy for the next round.

No one ever knows what all exactly goes on in a marriage except the two people in it. Each has their own views, too, so even then you won't get the same story. Marriages are complicated. All relationships are. Marriages aren't easy, either. Like anything in life, there are ups and downs. Sometimes, one or both partners reaches a breaking point and decides a break, either temporary or permanent, is needed. That's never an easy choice to make. No one needs to be trashed over doing what they think is best for them, and in the case of moms, for her kids. Especially not publicly. 


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27 comments:

  1. I myself am divorced and I know people have judged me, but my ex and I are both remarried and our kids are HAPPY. That's what counts.

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  2. I don't get why people slam sahm's especially about money. I've always thought that each parent does their thing to contribute to the family as a whole- whether it be the bread winner or the child caregiver. It's all one pot.

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    1. I'm with you on that. Each contributes something invaluable to the family.

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  3. That's one of the dangers of social media. People think that they can say things that they would never say to your face.

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    1. Yes, it's so sad. It's like manners don't matter online.

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  4. This is not cool for SAHM, a lot of people will say why not? But it's no one business and outside are often clueless to what is going. Great blog post.

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  5. Ughhhh drives me nuts when people bash the other parent... Kids aren't as clueless as adults like to think.... They don't want to hear anyone bash there mommy or daddy... Especially the other parent

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    1. I agree! All kids know is that they love their parent.

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  6. I say to each its own! Unless you're actually in their shoes you don't really know whats going on.

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  7. Some people are poor "losers." My feeling is that nothing last forever, no matter what we want to believe - it must end some way some how and if we could accept that then there would be no need for the kind of drama you write about.

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  8. So thankful that I don't live in the public eye. I would hate to have my personal matters spread across various medias.

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  9. I really don't think a public forum is appropriate for anyone's business like that. What a shame that it's so easy to hurt someone this way these days.

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    1. I agree. Some things need to be kept off public forums. It just opens things up for a whole lot of ugliness.

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  10. I totally believe that the high road is the best road in cases like this!

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  11. Yeah the last thing I want to get involved in is someone's marriage let alone someone's divorce. Way too many emotions, and years of issues going on.

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  12. I don't understand why people can judge easily without hearing the other side of the story. What mom wouldn't take the kids with her if she leaves her husband?

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  13. My daughter was a SAHM when her husband decided it was time to look for someone else. And I can't even begin to explain what she went through after that. The ex-husband and the mistress did everything they could to clear their name and she ended up being blamed for everything, at one point, the ex-husband even proclaimed that my daughter was the one who had somebody else that's why they broke up and he left. There are always two sides to a story, it's sad that most of the time, people are content with just hearing one side.

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  14. Ugh. That is terrible. I can't imagine going through something as difficult as divorce, then having it blasted all over social media.

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  15. I really love to reading your post. Yes Marriage was not easy sometimes you ended with breaking up

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  16. That is the danger of judging someone based one one person's perspective. Its really sad.

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  17. This is a great post indeed. SAHM never get the recognition they deserve I believe. It is sad that the husband doesn't realize karma will get him later when the kids are older and see how he trashed their mother on social media. Kudos to her for not being the immature one. Thanks for sharing.

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  18. People are mean in general on the internet. It is so easy to lash out without knowing everything.

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  19. I can not stand how so many people jump on the hateful bandwagon. I am preparing a post about how words hurt. I think it is time for this to stop.

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  20. Marriage isn't always easy, I think this topic is not good in public, but the advantage of this is you can easily read what is our in mind.

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  21. Divorce is not easy. Then to involve social media smh

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Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. As a busy mom, I'm not always able to respond to each one, though I read and appreciate them all.